Things I am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts
by Queen-Suriya
Summary: You thought Fred and George Wealsey were the prankster kings, didn't you..? Well now that they're gone, Hogwarts has been turned upside down and the professors aren't sure how much more they can take..!


**Suri: Hiya ppls ^.^ I think I'm going to try something new today...**

**Teki: Oh...yay...more new... T_T**

**Suri: Shut up, would you..? I'm running on 10 minutes of sleep in the past 48 hours. So, cut me some slack, would ya..?**

**Teki: Alright, bitchy...**

**Suri: *twitches* I will deal with you momentarily...but for now I will explain this story and it's concept. You see, I had a fantastic idea. You'll just have to figure it out by yourself though. I will simply say that the "Things I am Not Allowed to do at Hogwarts" icons or anything else that has to do with it, except my story of course, does not belong to me but actually belongs to it's proper owner...there I typed it all. So without further delay, as I have said so many times before this...On wit da fic...! ...and chasing retarded little brothers...**

**Characters-**

**Harry, Ron Hermione, etc -**

**5th years. (you know the rest...)**

**Sky Anne Tillany (Me)**

**Hair- Black**

**Eyes- Blue**

**Age- 14 (Fourth year)**

**House- Gryffindor**

**Tyler Timmothy Tillany (Teki)**

**Hair- Blonde**

**Eyes- Blue**

**Age- 14 (Fourth year)**

**House- Gryffindor**

**Ethan Jett Tilany**

**Hair- Black**

**Eyes- Blue**

**Age- 16 (Sixth year)**

**House- Slytherin**

**...there will be many non-important others...trust me...**

Sky leisurely strolled into the great hall, scanning around quickly for her brother. She spotted him in the distance talking to their friend from Hufflepuff.

Twirling a spoon between his fingers, Tyler grinned. "No, really.. I insisit..." He said just as Sky came within ear shot.

"Insist what..?" Sky asked, leaning on his shoulder.

Shrugging nonchalantly, he poked Bree with his spoon. "Oh, just that their house colors means that their covered in bees..."

Her face turning a pale hue of red, Bree glared daggers at him. "It does not..!" She said, slapping his spoon away from her shoulder.

Professor Mcgonagall walked over, grabbing the spoon from Tyler. "What is going on here..?" She exclaimed, glancing from Sky to Tyler.

"Nothing..." They both said simutaniouly, indentical grins plastered on both of their faces.

Lightly grabbing both of their robes, she pulled them to her office where they were assigned lines, surprisingly it was only the first time this year, but it was only the first day back to school...

_**I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their house colors indicate that they are "covered in bees"**_

Tyler stood next to a hippogriff, his school uniform being replaced by a khaki safari suit. With his hair color he looked alot like Steve Irwin...though alot of people here would have no idea who that was. He pointed to random creatures and exclaimed excitedly in an extremely fake and cheesy australian accent.

"Tyelr would you cut it out...?" Sky droned from where she was hiding behind the fence, appearing embarrassed by the spectacle that her brother was making of himself.

Grinning wildly, Tyler shook his head. "No way, this is too fun..!" He said using his accent. "Crikey mate..! Would you look at that...! He exclaimed pointing in the distance to Draco Malfoy. "That there is what we like to call a Pureblood-Stuckupakus, an extremely common breed, but this one here is especially fiesty...!"

Sky shrugged her shoulders. "Eh...why not..." She mumbled, stepping up next to her brother. "Yes indeed, this one here is an rare specimen of this particular breed, rarely do you see one with such a terrible attitude problem. This one is such a rare breed that it will be almost impossible to procreate with another of its kind because of its horribly bossy demeanor and its supiority complex..!" Sky joined in with a slightly better accent than Tyler.

"Did you know that this little suckers techinical name is the amazing bouncing ferret...?" Tyler added, earning laughs from the class, especially when Malfoy began waving his hands and yelling at them. Fortunately they were to far away to hear him. Unfortunately , Snape wasn't.

Professor Snape stiffly walked over to them. "That will be quite enough from you two.." He sneered, his usual scowl upon his face. "To my office now..." So here they were, day two, one detention, and two sets of lines...

_**No matter how good a fake australian accent I can do, I am not to immitate Steve Irwin in Care of Magical Creatures Class.**_

Tyler lay on his bed, a joint lying, burnt out, next to him. He laughed silently to himself, watching the smoke form patterns in the room. This was a good reason to skip class, especially considering he was the only one here. One more period until he would be able to reveal his extra credit project to Professor Sprout. Well, he was in a good mood until he heard Professor Mcgonagall yelling from the staircase. Sighing he opened the door and trudged downstairs, releasing all the smoke into the common room.

"Just what did you think you were doing...?" She said, casting him a look that plain out told him that he was in serious trouble.

Lightly scratching the back of his head, he grinned sheepishly. "I umm wasn't feeling well..." He replied, hoping that she would take the bait and send him to Madame Pomfrey. Wait, on second thought...she didn't need to know about the weed.. His thoughts were suddenly interupted by Professor Mcgonagall though.

"Mr. Tillany, what on earth is that smell...?" She asked, climbing the staircase only to return with a small garden full of marijuana and tiny mushrooms. "What is this...?" She said glaring at him.

"Ummmm, an extra credit project for herbology..." He said, sighing when her only reply was to point the direction to her office. The day three count stands at three detentions and three sets of lines.

_**Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not "an extra credit projct for Herbology."**_

Sky sat outside, bored beyond her dullest beliefs. She mentally thanked Tyler for getting high and landing himself detention, leaving her with absolutely nothing to do. She glanced of in the distance to see an argument insuing between Harry and Malfoy. This should be good... She trudged off to see what the fuss was about.

Well, the whole thing was actually a challenge game, the two of them going back and forth with things like "I can find the snitch with a blindfold on.." or " I know every dark wizard to ever come to power." Simple stuff like that. Sky, getting a stupid idea strolled into the center of the small crowd forming.

Grinning deviously, she raised her hands as if to subtly show off, having absolutely no clue that Professor Mcgonagall was approaching the scene from behind. "Well, you may be able to do all of that, but I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name..." When she got no response, she sighed. "There's a professor behind me...isn't there...?" At the collective nod, Sky turned around, a sheepish smile on her face.

"I don't even think I have to say it this time, Miss Tillany..." She sighed, leading the way to her office. Day four, three detentions, four sets of lines.

_**"I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.**_

Tyler awoke in the morning, getting a fresh idea, he skipped his morning rituals. I don't mean like brushing his teeth and combing his hair, I mean he skipped getting dressed. He strolled into the corridor with a grin plastered on his face, and absolutely nothing else.

Upon seeing her brother, Sky dashed over to him. "Tyler Timmothy Tillany, what the french toast do you think you're doing..?" She said, refusing to look at him, especially in all his manhood glory.

"Simply showing off the mechandise, sister..." He replied, completely unashamed and proud of what he was doing.

Professor Mcgonagall did a double take as they entered her classroom. "Mr. Tillany, what in the name of Merlin is the meaning of this..?" She exclaimed, sheilding her eyes.

"Oh, nothing...it's just..Malfoy dared me to do it..." Tyler lied through his teeth, thinking that if he was going down, he was taking that ferret with him.

Continuing to cover her eyes, Professor Mcgonagall blindly grabbed his hand and trudged off to her office. That would be day five, with detention count at seven and line count of five.

_**I will not attend class skyclad.**_

Sky lazily sat in her chair in potions class, Snape was actually droning for once and it was making her extremely bored. She glanced over to her left to see Tarah, one of her friends from Slytherin, dozing in her seat. Taking another page out from her brother's book, she fished around in her bag for her wand.

Tarah awoke at the end of class, unknowingly possesing a fake dark mark on her arm. Laughing to herself, Sky walked off to Gryffindor tower, positive that this could not be traced back to her.

Okay, she was now positive that it _could_ be traced back to her, seeing as they thought first of her and her brother and checked both of their wands. So now she was on her way to Professor Snape's office to deal with the resulting consiquences of more detention and more lines.

_**If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.**_

" I'm bored...!" Sky exclaimed loudly. Her and her brother were currently reclining underneath a tree outside and watching everyone else run around. Seeing as they had been trying not to get into trouble, they really had nothing of intrest to do.

Tyler rolled his eyes. "We're both bored, and there's absolutely nothing that we can do about..." He trailed off, catching a glimpse of Professor Umbridge waddling across the lawn. "Actually there is something we can do, sister..."

Within the next ten minutes the two of them had set up a small area at the Gryffindor table in the Great hall. "Step right up...! Place your bet on the fate of this years Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor..!" Around their area a small band of students was forming , each placing a bet on a death more horrifying and grusome than the last.

Professor Mcgonagall strolled over to see what the chaos was about. Upon seeing exactly what was going on, instead of yelling like you would have expected her to, she discretely slide a few galleons over to them and whispered that she would place her money on death by ministry disgrace before walking away as if nothing had happened.

Laughing loudly, Sky put Mcgonagall's money in the box and continued to take bets along with Tyler for the next hour or so before being caught by Professor Umbridge and drug off to do more lines in detention.

_**Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.**_

Tyler walked to potions class, yawning as he went from lack of sleep. You see, if you did your research before reading this you know that detention with Umbridge can last a long time. Plopping himself down in potions class, he waved at his sister who was seated across the room."Watch this..." He mouthed to her. When she simply rolled her eyes in response, he proceded to mouth. "It's time for the question..."

Professor Snape walked into the room, beginning the lesson by starting to explain in his usual tone about today's lesson when Tyler raised his hand. "Yes, ..?" Only when Tyler opened his mouth to speak, did Snape remember that it was always him that asked that dreaded question.

"Professor, will today's project be suitable for use as a sexual lubricant...?" Tyler asked, just like he had everyday before this, and just as every other day the class laughed. Today was different in the sense that Snape made him come to his office after class and do lines...

_**I will not start every Potions class by asking Professor Snape if today's project is suitable for use as a sexual lubircant.**_

"Hey..! Hey, Sky...!" Tyler exclaimed, running into the Gryffindor common room holding a small package. "Guess what I got..!"

Sky, glancing aprhensivly at the package, decided to take a swing at guessing what was in it. "Umm...those dung bombs you ordered..?" She tried only for Tyler to shake his head. From the small box he proceded to pull a small tank that held a miniature pihanna in its depths. "That's nothing compared to my new pet..." Sky said rolling her eyes at the man-eating fish.

Haley, a fellow classmate, proceded to angrily stomp up to Sky. "Your stupid cannibalistic animal ate my precious owl..!" She exclaimed while holding up a pink jewel-encrusted cage that had a few pale grey feathers laying around in it.

Shrugging her shoulders, Sky smiled calmly. "Well then you should have kept your spoiled, lazy, poof-ball of an owl away from my precious snow leopard..." She replied, her smile growing as a large white snow leopard curled up next to her chair.

By the next day both Tyler's and Sky's precious pets had been confiscated. Of course, only to quickly be replaced. When they made it back to the common room later that night, Tyler had a reticulated python and Sky had a Tasmanian devil. When Professor Mcgonagall saw them the next day the two of them were immediately sent to her office for more lines and more detention.

_**I am allowed to have a toad, rat, cat, or owl. I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or pirhanna.**_

Sky casually walked down the corridor, smiling as she saw Peeves chasing a few firsties around throwing chalk at them. For some reason, her and Tyler always seemed to get along with Peeves. Well, probably because in their first year they introduced him to paintballing...but that's a story for another time.

Spotting Tyler making his way towards her, she darted up to him. "Hey Tyler, how do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense...?" She inquired, a sly grin upon her face.

"Hmm, I don't know, sister...Hey..! Where are you going..? You never told me..!" He shouted, seeing her walking away from him. It took him a few minutes, but he finally figured out what was going on.

Sky and Tyler proceded to do this to their fellow Gryffindors, until finally they got in trouble for asking Professor Mcgonagall how to keep a professor in suspense and walking away. Now they had more lines to do, fantastic for them, right.?

_**Asking "How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense..?" and walking away is only funny the first time.**_

"Hey, Sky..!" Tyler yelled, running up and plopping down next to her at the Gryffindor table. "I just thought of a way to make _alot_ of money...!" He exclaimed with a happy grin on his face.

Rolling her eyes, Sky looked at her brother. "Oh, and what would that be..? Starting another betting pool..? Pehaps this one should be over how many detentions we'll have stockpiled by the end of the year..!" She said glaring daggers at him.

Just shaking his head, Tyler got up and began to make his way out of the Great hall. "Oh, you'll see in a few days..."

A few days later, Hedwig flew into the Great Hall at breakfast and landed before Harry. "What the bloody hell is this..?" He said, grabbing the envelope that was tied to her leg. "Alright..!" He yelled, standing up as the Great Hall went completely quiet. "Who took out a _life insurance_ policy on me..?"

Tyler chuckled softly, a smirk upon his face as his sister began giggling. "I don't know...maybe it's a message from You-Know-Who..." He said, only to earn himself several glares and for Professor Mcgonagall to come down and personally escort them to her office...again...

_**I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.**_

Sky walked out of History of Magic class practically half asleep, it was then that she decided that she would start her own class. By the next day, Sky had swapped out her uniform for a pair of crimson and black robes and was postioned in an abandoned classroom along with several other fourth years.

"Welcome, I am your professor for this class. From this point forward I will be known as Professor Tilany..." In the back of the class she seen Tyler raise his hand. Sighing she called on him. "What, brother...?"

Glaring at Sky, he crossed hi arms over his cheat. "Why do you get to be a professor and I don't..?"

"Fine, but you have to dress the part..." Waving her wand, her brother's school robes turned into deep blue and black robes that matched hers. "...and he will also be known as Professor Tilany..."

Tyler lightly grabbed his sister's wrist. "...but sis, wouldn't that be to confusing...?" He whispered only to get a sigh in response. "Cross that last bit, She is Professor Sky and I am Professor Tyler...!"

Their class went on well for about a week until Professor Mcgonagall got curious and decided to go find all of the missing students. She walked into the classroom only to exclaim. "What in the name of Merlin is going on here..?"

Sky smiled. "Oh, I see you've found our class..." She said, twirling her wand between her fingers.

"Welcome to Defense Against the Boring Classes...! We're both the Professors..."Tyler said, his grin fading as Professor Mcgonagall motioned them both to her office.

_**I am not the Defense Against the Boring Classes professor.**_

Tyler stumbled back into the common room, a bulging bag in his hand. "Hey..! Guess what I got..!" He called to his sister who was reclining in a chair by the fire.

"I don't know, what did you get..?" She asked, barely glancing up from her book. Finally her brother caught her full attention by whipping out two bottles of Firewhiskey.

Grinning, Tyler tossed a bottles to his sister. "...Courage... after all, tomorrow is our first match as beaters... " He said, referencing the fact that after Fred, George, and Harry got booted off the team, the two of them were playing instead.

Downing some of the stinging liquid, Sky smiled at Tyler. "I don't think that this is actually courage in a bottle, brother..."

Their argument over whether or not Firewhiskey was courage was cut short as Hermione marched into the common room to see what was going on. As a prefect, she immediately reported them to Professor Mcgonagall.

_**Gryffindor courage does not come in bottles labeled "Firewhiskey"**_

Sky woke up the morning after the quiditch match with a brilliant idea. Adjusting her school uniforms slightly, she walked out of the common room with a black leopard on her robes instead of the Gryffindor lion. when anyone asked her why she would simply reply that she was not a member of Gryffindor house, but in fact she was a member of the Leoite house instead. When they would ask who the founder was, she would grin and say the she was.

By the end of the day, Sky had rounded up quite a few students who were now Leoite house members. Working a complicated spell, with the help of her older brother who was a sixth year, she made the Leoite common room, which she had decided she would put branching off of the astronomy tower.

It took a few days, but the teachers finally noticed that there was now a fifth table in the Great Hall and less students in their proper common rooms. Professor Mcgonagall finally traced this entire thing back to Tyler, Sky, and Ethan who _all_ got detention and lines.

_**There is not now, nor has there ever been, a fifth house at Hogwarts and I am not a member of that house, nor am I its founder.**_

Ethan drug himself out of bed. Him and his siblings were stuck at Hogwarts for Christmas for break, and because of the fact that he was a prefect he was going to have to spend the rest of break chasing after them. Then again, the only reason he strived to be a prefect was so that he had access to the prefects bathroom, and the only reason he wanted access to the bathroom to begin with was so that he could change the password to."Makes getting clean almost as much fun as getting dirty." So, now you see exactly where the twins learned it from...their older brother.

Strolling out into the hall, Ethan spots the twins waving and calling for him. Sighing, he walks over. "We need your help..." Tyler exclaims, a devious grin on his face. "You have to gather up all of the Slytherin first years..! " He said.

Just as Ethan was about to protest, Sky whimpered softly, her eyes instantly filling up with tears. "Please, brother..." She pleaded, holding lightly onto his arm.

Nodding, he walked off to gather the first years. When he returned, he noticed that the two of them ha d also gathered all of the Gryffindor first years. Realization hit him as he grinned at his younger siblings. "We're decorating for Christmas, aren't we...?"

By the time an hour had passed, the Gryffindor and Skytherin first years were hung all over the Great Hall, complaining and calling for help as they attempted to get down.

Professor Mcgonagal rushed in and demanded to know what was going on, and didn't like the answer very much. So, she proceded to send the three of them to her office.

_**I will not use Slytherin and Gryffindor first years as Christmas decorations.**_

Sky and Tyler grudgingly made their way to Defense Against the Dark Arts class, complaining the entire way there that class had become so boring after Professor Umbridge took over. Taking their seats, the two of them proceded to have a whispered conversatino about how they wish that some of the bets on her fate would actually come true when Professor Umbridge came over and interupted them.

" I do believe that we are currently in class..." She began, her face turning red when Sky only proceded to 'shush' her. " ..should I remind you that I am-"

She was cut off as Sky brandished her wand. " Don't you know it's rude to interupt people..?" She asked, finishing her sentence by waving her wand and muttering. "Silencio" Professor Umbridge seized the two of them by their robes and drug them into her office.

_**Silencing charms are not to be used on my professors.**_

...Well, I should say that's what they were supposed to be writing, but instead Tyler and Sky were misusing Professor Umbridges special quills.

After five hours had passed, Professor Umbridge walked over to examine their hands. "Now then, let's see if the message has _sunk in_..." She was stunned by what she seen on their hands. Screaming angrily, she took the quills off of them and handed them normal quills and ink, also gave them a new set of lines to write.

_**I will not use Professor Umbridge's quill to write, "I told you I was hardcore."**_

Sky and Tyler awoke the next morning, still laughing about what had happened the night before. The laughter stopped, however, when they were called to Professor Mcgonagall's office after Tranfiguration.

Sitting them bothe down, she sighed. "Is it true what I heard about you two and Professor Umbridge...?" She asked them.

Sky and Tyler simply looked at eachother blankly and turned back to look at her. After doing this several times, she began to get annoyed.

"Will the two of you answer me..?" Professor Mcgonagall exclaimed, growing more irritated as she seen the two of them look at eachother again.

Only this time Tyler stood up and stepped forward, he waved his hand and announced. "These are not the droids you are looking for..." Professor Mcgonagall assigned them more detention and more lines.

_**When being interogated by a member of staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce "These are not the droids you are looking for"**_

Sky walked out of Transfigurations class laughing loudly. Tyler, becoming curious, walked up to her. "What's so funny...?" He asked, growing more curious as she laughed louder.

"Oh, you'll see tomorrow..." She replied, walking off towards the Great Hall.

The next day in Transfiguration class Professor Mcgonagall walked up to her holding a paper. "Miss Tilany, what is this...?" She asked holding up the paper.

Smiling innocently, Sky glanced at the paper curiously. "That's my homework..." She said softly, trying deperately not to laugh.

"The last time I checked, your name wasn't The Dark Lord Happy-Pants..." Professor Mcgonagall said, hauling a hysterically laughing Sky off to her office.

_**My name is not "The Dark Lord Happy-Pants" and I am not allowed to sign my papers as such.**_

Sky watched as her brother was speaking with a few first years. Wondering what he was up to, Sky went over to him. Tyler dismissed the first years, turning to his sister with a grin on his face. "Oh, this is gonna be good..."

"What's going to be good, brother...?" She asked, watching the first years go up to Professor Snape.

Laughing, Tyler pointed. "Just watch..." Suddenly all the first years bowwed down before Snape exclaiming praises to god.

Professor Snape went red in the face and sent off all of the firsties, deducting fifty points from each of their houses. Spotting the two of them, he walked over and drug them to his office for an explaination, which, might I add, he was not amused by.

_**I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God.**_

Professor Mcgonagall stormed up to Tyler and Sky, not looking very happy at all. "That's it..! I've had enough of you two..! To the Headmaster's office...!" She exclaimed.

"Alright, we'll go..." They muttered, a devious grin making it's way across both of their faces as they walked out into the hallway and joined hands. Skipping, all the way Professor Dumbledore's office they repeatedly sang the chorus of "We're off to see the wizard"

Once arriving in his office, Professor Dumbledore regretfully gave them more detentions in which they were forced to write more lines.

_**I will not sing "We're off to see the wizard" when sent to the headmaster's office.**_

**Suri: Well, this took me an extremely long time to write...( I started this sometime in September O.o)**

**Teki: I actually kind of hoped she would never finish it...**

**Suri: would you like me to go back and cut you out of it..?**

**Teki: ...no...**

**Suri: Now, I would like to say two things.**

**1. There will be more of these, starting at their first year and making their way up until now. Why did i start here..? Because it was easier for me. So, when reading pay attention to their ages..!**

**2. Please, tell me wheter or not you liked this...and the only way to do that is to review. Until Next time..!**


End file.
